"A Clear Understanding Of Love!"

It was a warm afternoon in the attic just to look for any and everything with a clear understanding of nothing.
"I like him though, but he wants me to like him much more than that," Jennifer thought to herself as she looked in the mirror combing her dark brown medium lenght hair. She stood in front of a large long wide antique wooden frame mirror smoothing down the over size wrinkle cotton brown and white small printed flowers dress, she wore just for comfort.
"My legs are so long and skinny," Jennifer said aloud to herself as she stared in the mirror at them. "Wow, why did Dad let Mom buy all of this antique artifact from all around the world, and now they all rest in this attic."
Jennifer picked up a lamp and looked at it carefully admiring the dedicate glass tear drops from side to side. She placed the lamp back on the dull peeling painted table and picked up her parents' wedding framed picture off of the table.
"I like coming up here," Jennifer thought. "I can think better. I like talking to mom, but sometime, I already known what she is going to say." Jennifer stared out into space.
"These are some really nice things that I would like to have if and when I should get married," Jennifer thought to herself as she walked over to sit in the rocking chair. "Next June, I'll be seventeen, but that is still too young according to Mom." Jennifer lay back in the rocking chair as she rocked. She leaned over to her right side and picked up an artificial yellow rose off the wooden floor. She looked at it, and then sniffed it as though it was a real rose.
"When I get married it is going to be a very special night for me and my future husband. Mom always said to be a good girl. I am a good girl. I am not a loose woman. I not going to haul myself over to a man whom I am not marry to yet. It is my belief and faith to do just that," Jennifer thought as she suddenly raised out of the rocking chair. "I can't do that I mustn't do that. Oh, leave me alone. Why am I even thinking of this," Jennifer said out loud to herself as she walked over to the small attic window. "It is still day light outdoors."
Jennifer walked over to the light switch near the door and flicked it on. She picked up the fashion magazine off the table near the door. She glanced through the magazine as she bend her knees to sit down on the stained rug on the floor. She flicked the pages with her fingers quickly. She stopped and stared at the ad of a woman advertising pefume.
"He said that he like my perfume the other day at the mall when I saw him there. He even wanted to know the name of the perfume that I wore," Jennifer thought. "He wants us to be more than just friends, but I'm only sixteen. I don't want to be his girlfriend in that way," Jennifer turned the magazine pages quickly and faster not to give into what she though. "He said that he wants to take me out sometimes and that he will call me when he think that I am ready. I like him very much, but he makes it so hard for me to do what is right. I much respect myself. What he wants to do should only be done by married couples."
Jennifer reached up to the table and turns on the radio a soft calm music heard throughout the attic. Jennifer stared into space thinking of the time when she had lunch with Dan in the school cafeteria.
"Jennifer have you ever been kissed?" Dan asked.
"No, never."
"No, never?" Dan asked as he laughed. "And why not?"
"I don't know."
"Would you like to be kiss?" Dan asked as he reached across the lunch table and took her hand into his hand.
"No," Jennifer said as she snatched away her hand holding her hands together.
Dan laughed for a few minute, and then he looked straight at Jennifer. Jennifer was still holding her hands together, and she looked back straight at Dan.
"I guess it would be pointless to ask you have you ever been with a guy before?" Dan said as he looked into Jennifer's big brown eyes.
"Are you kidding me? I saving myself for marriage," Jennifer said.
"Marriage? How do you know that you will ever get marry, girl," Dan said as he got closer to the edge of his chair.
"I know."
"But how do you know?" Dan asked.
"Because, he will be the right one for me."
"How do you know he is the right one for you?" Dan asked as he waited for an answer.
"All right, he will know as well as I not to have sex until we are marriage. That's how I will know. I wouldn't have to explain to him. He will already know to wait until marry, and that is the right thing to do. I have to go to class, I see you later," Jennifer thought to herself as she remembered that day in the school cafeteria.
Jennifer heard the telephone rang from a distance and jumped.
"I'll get it," Jennifer said as she ran to through the doorway of the attic into the hallway.
"Hello," Jennifer said.
"Hello Jennifer, are you ready?" Vicki said.
No, I am not ready, and I won't be ready until after I get married.
"Ugh?" Vicki said. Do you want to go to the movie tonight our entire cheerleaders squad will be there."
"Oh Vicki, I forgot about that. I had other things on my mind," Jennifer said as she reached to close the attic door.
"Guess what?"
"What Vicki?"
"Your football hero is dating, Susan."
"I don't care." Jennifer said as she hung up the telephone. " I only want to please God if I can. I don't want to be some boy play thing before we can say, 'I do,'" Jennifer thought to herself as she stared out into space again.

12/10/2008
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